hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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