haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
