we're blogging at a bar
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Randomize
