Cold hands, warm shart.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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