ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Randomize
