Those balls look pretty dangerous.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
We smell like vodka and hangover
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