i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
