You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I puked a lego.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
