Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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