remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
