btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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