I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
