I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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