32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
