But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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