I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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