What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
