she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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