She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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