i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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