mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
