His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Also, beer. Big fan.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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