It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
