im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
