Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
