I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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