the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
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