There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize