Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
