I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
look no pants
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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