Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
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