In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
We're too hungover to prance.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
