hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I would ride that face into the sunset
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
