The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
