it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
