1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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