oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
