It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
