Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
