what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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