I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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