piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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