Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
tequila makes me forget i have legs
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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