Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
