Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
