Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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