you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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