just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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