Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
