thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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