just come out here and I will go home with you...
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
