There is no way he is gay with that hair.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
