i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize