worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
