kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize