There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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