escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I'm passing your future prison.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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